PLOCK

One day, I couldn’t reach one of my domains anymore. But at the webhoster itself everything seemed fine. When I performed a traceroute, I found that the connection always timed out after one of the international PCCW routers. Since PCCW HK is also my local internet provider, I thought I just ask them, if they know more. So I sent them all the details including a screenshot of the “tracert”.

2 Days later I receive a reply with a standard message, just asking me for informations, which I had mostly provided in my previous mail already.

The problem had disappeared in the meantime. Never the less, I couldn’t help it and had to write a complaint mail, what all those pointless questions are about. So I wrote:

” Dear Valued Customer, Thank you for emailing NETVIGATOR. With regards to your concern about the enquiry for your NETVIGATOR service, we are sorry to informed you that we could not retrieve your account information from the email. To facilitate of your concern, please kindly provide us with the following information: - NETVIGATOR email address / account number - convenient day-time contact phone number - Your IP address (Click on “start” > “run”> type “cmd” > enter> type “ipconfig /all”) - Full error message or a screen capture when you tried to go to the website Upon receiving your information, we shall then process your enquiry immediately. We are sorry for the inconvenience that has caused to you.”

The problem had disappeared in the meantime. Never the less, I couldn’t help it and had to write a complaint mail, what all those pointless questions are about. So I wrote:

“  Dear Valued Customer Service, actually it seems that the issue has been already resolved (on its own?) However, I find your service very insufficent, judging by your information request. In my previous mail, I did send you a screenshot of the problematic traceroute (I attached the screenshot again, maybe my previous mail lost it on its way), which shows clearly the following things: 1. I am using a router behind your modem (192.168.0.1), so I wonder what my computer’s IP should matter? 2. the problem (traceroute times out at: 63.218.44.50) 3. Since I mention my name in the email too (and there shouldn’t be many customers in Hong Kong with that name) , together with the second hop in the traceroute it should be very easy to tell, which account it is and proving it. Last, but not least: since the issue leads back to one of your routers, I believe that it actually shouldn’t matter, if I am your customer or not. If I have a public website in the world wide web and people couldn’t reach it from Hong Kong, due to some technical problem of one of your routers, then it would be still your responsibility to fix this, I believe. However, I don’t know for sure if it’s a problem of your router, that’s just what I suspected judging from the limited information I had. That’s why I kindly asked you to let me know, if you could figure out more about this. […]”I kind of expected at least some response to what I actually wrote …. but of course, just apologies, not even mentioning for what they actually apologize for, the only thing which wasn’t standard about the reply was the fact, that they actually inserted names (mine & and the customer service guy’s)

” Dear Mr. […], First of all, thank you for your reply and we are glad to learn that your problem has been resolved. Further to your feedback regarding on the below incident, please kindly accept my sincere apologizes about the misunderstanding in our previous mail. To allow us to assist you quicker, therefore we asked you for your account information, so that we could have taken the investigation in relevant department with the tracert result provided by you in your first email. To this, once again, we apologize for any inconvenience caused. If you have any further enquiries, please feel free to email us again or call our PCCW Consumer Service Hotline 1000. Yours sincerely, John Wu NETVIGATOR Email Team “

Kind of efficient somehow - I mean who feels like still writing anything, after such a stupid apology mail…. Well, me …. I felt like taking part in the challenge, of getting a non-standard reply from that customer service, which only point of existence seems to be the sending of standardized replies. and wrote:

” “John Wu”? Are you THE famous action director? maaan, I love your films! Well, then I am actually sorry for any inconveniences caused. Sorry, I did not know who I was talking to! keep up the good work! best,

[…] ”

I thought I made a very clever move by that email …. but the customer service ruling is too strong and they finished me, by another dump standard apology mail.

“Merry Christmas! Our Reference:6309569/KMM49602978I23896L0KM Dear Philip, Thank you for your reply. Further to enquiry earlier, we apologize once again for any inconvenience and confusion caused. Please do not hesitate to contact me again for any further enquiries, we are always pleased to be of assistance. If you have any further enquiries, please feel free to email us again or call our PCCW Consumer Service Hotline 1000. Yours sincerely, John Wu NETVIGATOR Email Team ”
I mean wtf, how can you answer an apology with another apology. I just doesn’t make sense! Apparently as a strategy it DOES make sense, because there is no logical way to continue such a dialogue. So, I guess they won for this time.

… PCCW, you won this fight, but the war ain’t over…